How do you express your emotions? How well can you write how you feel so others can understand? Emotions can be tricky things. They are a gift from our Creator and a part of His image that we bear. I was brought up in a family that was a little less than expressive when it came to emotions. I married into an Italian family that displays pretty remarkable emotions during fast food commercials. I have either learned to be a bit more emotionally expressive or it has something to do with age. I get teary eyed more than I used to, and that is probably a good thing. The challenge with emotional expressions is more strongly evident when we try to write them down or when we try to interpret what has been written down for us. Lately I have wondered how much of my personal emotional bias has found its way into my reading of God's Word. I have been reading, teaching, and listening to other teachers teach God's Word for about 45 years. After a while you can fall into what you think you know before you even read the passage. I wonder if I have missed or misread the emotions of the Biblical writers due to my preconceived understanding of the text.
In 1 Samuel 15 we have the record of King Saul's defeat of the Amalekites. Saul was to have destroyed these evil people and their livestock. He fails to do so and is rebuked by Samuel. 1 Samuel 15:22-23, "So Samuel said: “Has the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king." Pretty strong words. Seems as if the emotions were running high and that the words were said with force and perhaps a little anger. Saul responds in verse 24-25, "Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. Now therefore, please pardon my sin, and return with me, that I may worship the LORD.” I read this as Saul being both broken and repentant, even a bit fearful. He cries out to Samuel for forgiveness. Samuel, more or less, tells Saul it is too late and turns to walk away, Saul reaches out and clutches Samuel's robe and it tears. Samuel turns to Saul and says, "The LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today, and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you." What is Samuel's tone to the broken and repentant Saul? I had just assumed it was a continued strong rebuke, but perhaps not.
How did Samuel feel about Saul? What was his relationship to this first king of Israel? Samuel had been with Saul from the very beginning. He was the one who anointed Saul and presented him to the people. God has made His judgement, but how does Samuel feel about it? 1 Samuel 15:11 God says, "I greatly regret that I have set up Saul as king, for he has turned back from following Me, and has not performed My commandments.' And it grieved Samuel, and he cried out to the LORD all night." Samuel is deeply moved and sorrowful at the plight of Saul. He has not taken the Lord's judgement lightly. God has to come to Samuel to encourage him to move on, 1 Samuel 16:1, "Now the LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel?" "How long will you mourn?" The pain and sorrow of Saul's demise has permeated the very soul of Samuel. He longs for things to be different. He longs for Saul's restoration.
Could it be that back in chapter 15 that Samuel's tone and emotion turns to one of sorrow and hurt as he must deliver the news that the kingdom will be torn from Saul? Can you picture Saul on his knees clutching the edge of Samuel's robe as Samuel turns with tearing eyes to say, "The LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day." Saul has sinned. Saul has repented. Saul asks Samuel to come with him to worship. Samuel relents and goes with Saul. Samuel is grieved, and sorrowful, and mourns over the end of Saul's reign. Could it be that Samuel's anger and disappointment is turned to grief as Saul humbles himself and admits his sin? Have all the messages I have heard and the things I have read kept me from the possibility of a brokenhearted Samuel? Have I been jaded to the grief that comes to the prophet's soul as the king he anointed is now rejected? Could I have missed or misread the emotion of the moment?
I also wondered about the passage in John's Gospel account. John 20:15-16, "Jesus said to her,[Mary] “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him, “Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away. Jesus said to her, “Mary” She turned and said to Him, “Rabboni!” (which is to say, Teacher)."
You may be familiar with the story. Three days after the horror of the crucifixion of the Lord Mary has come to the tomb. An Angel has rolled away the stone and proclaimed that Christ is risen as He said. She has gone into the tomb where two beings in white have again given her the account of Messiah's resurrection. She has run to tell the disciples, and Peter and John have visited the tomb. Mary stays behind alone. Jesus appears, but she thinks He is the gardener. She asks, "Sir, if you carried the body away..." He replies "Mary". or "Mary!" depending on you translation. What was the tone and emotion of Jesus? Was He gentle as he quietly whispered her name? Was it sort of a normal tone and hearing Him speak her own name awaken her recognition, remembering the day he called her to Himself and cast out the demonic tormentors? Or was the Lord just a little exasperated. Was there just a little edge to His raised voice to get her attention. Just a hint of "Yo! Mary! It's Me!" There had been those times. Luke 9:41, "Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here.” Sounds to me like there was a little emotional edge here. Have we so stereotyped the Lord that a little sharp nudge to bring Mary to her senses seems out of character?
How openly do we read the Scriptures? Any possibility we are sanitizing the Word of God to fit our emotional grid? Could it be that we are missing the hearts and souls of these real people who interacted with the real God and with one another? The God we worship is an emotional God. His Word simply must have emotions woven throughout the stories. How much of ourselves and our traditions get in the way of recognizing the emotions in these accounts? Do we consider the emotions of the people and the Lord Himself? Maybe it is time to take a fresh look at the stories we know so well and ponder what emotions filled the moment. Maybe we will find the characters in the Bible are a lot more like us than we thought.
