How is your self-esteem? Pretty good or do you struggle with low self-esteem? I was alive when the self-esteem lie began. I was in College and my major was psychology with an emphasis in counseling. My minor was in Bible and sometimes it was hard to get the two to be compatible. The rage at the time was the issue of self-esteem. It has now permeated much of what we deal with today. Even if it isn't a main topic, the damage is perpetuated and as followers of Christ we are not immune. I know this week was to be on Acts 10 and 11, but this issue crawled out from under a rock in my brain. Things said in passing in the midst of conversations poked some old irritations. Self-esteem, or the lack thereof, is said to be the cause of a plethora of social maladies. In the 70's several well know psychologists who were Christian promoted this terrible condition. A counseling team teaching at a well know seminary in Texas made the statement that virtually all violent crime could be eliminated if we could build self-esteem into every child. Sin is not the issue, it is low self-esteem that causes crime. We are told so by the media to explain, and to some extent, excuse bad behavior. "They were abused as a child, disappointed and suffered from low self-esteem." "Their behavior is an outgrowth of years of belittlement leaving them with low-self esteem and a shattered psyche." "They grew to hate themselves and reacted to yet another assault on their self-esteem, what they did shouldn't surprise us." The world, and even "Christian" counselors tell us the need for self-esteem and self-love is essential if we are ever to love God or others.
Yet, when we look to Scripture we do not see self-esteem or self-love as the issue. We actually see the opposite. We are told by Isaiah that the Lord, "was despised and rejected and we did not esteem Him" (Isa 53:3). We are to be like Him. If the world rejected Him they will also reject us. Philippians 2:3 says "In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." Matthew 9:35 declares, "If anyone desires to come after me let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Mt 20 and Mark 9, as well as other places, tell us if we want to lead or to be great we must be servants of all. My wants and needs must come after the needs of those who surround me. How do we get from self denial to self-esteem and remain true to Scripture? Ahhhhhh! We invent a new commandment. We find the need for self- love and self-esteem in the core of the greatest commandments.
When asked by a scribe as to the greatest or most important commandment Yeshua, Jesus, quoted Deut. 6:4-5 " Hear oh Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment." Yeshua went on to quote Lev. 19:18, "And the second like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Mk 12:30). Did you see it? The third all important commandment? One is love God. Two is love your neighbor and three is love yourself. You see if you do not love yourself you cannot love your neighbor and cannot truly love God. Self-love and self-esteem are absolutely necessary if we are ever to love others as we are called to. This remarkable third commandment is elevated to the first for without self-love and self-esteem I am lost and despondent. I will become discouraged and feel all alone and useless. My low self-esteem will drive me to terrible things or just live a mediocre existence. Because I was never encouraged as a child I will never be able to love others or God or have any real value. Whoever was responsible, my parents, my teacher, a coach, bullies at school, some relative or boss, one thing is sure, it is not my fault. However, we should note that Matthew 22:40 adds, "On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." Thankfully we have "Christian" counselors around to find the hidden third commandment that the Lord missed.
Low self-esteem allows us to excuse sin, anger, bitterness, to be enamored with ourselves and useless for the Kingdom. It has been a remarkably effective lie of the devil. All this being said, what of those who have a poor self image? Due to the abuse of a parent, relative, teacher, coach or some other individual who held great influence over their lives. A poor self image can be a very real issue. Self image and self-esteem are not the same. Image is how I see myself and where my value as a person comes from. Self-esteem is how I am evaluated and lifted up by others. If I was not properly elevated or others were elevated and I was not, I am hurt and feel less important. So we do not keep score in soccer or little league. I don't fail a class I get a "L-I-P" on my report card (Learning In Progress, an actual mark for some report cards). No one is better. We are all the same. We wouldn't want to damage someone's self-esteem would we? This way we can all be equally miserable.
As an aside, society has been teaching our children that they are a mistake of evolution for years. A protoplasmic blob and a product of billions of years of natural selection. There is no plan, there is no design, there is no God and you have no value. You will eventually die and return to the meaningless dust you came from. By the way, we are concerned with your self-esteem and your need to love yourself so we are offering a special class to produce artificial value in your life. It is fragile because it is based on how you feel others treat you. You are powerless. A damaged product of a decaying society and a world you are destroying. Oh, and as we have been teaching natural selection, you know, only the strong survive, there will be a seminar in the gym on Friday to help you deal with the faster, stronger bullies that are higher on the evolutionary chain. Enjoy the day and remember to love your meaningless self.
No wonder our world is so messed up.
How do you combat a poor self image? The real issue here is a poor God image. We do not see Him as our Abba, Father. We do not see His love and compassion. We do not see or accept what He has done to demonstrate His love for us. We do not see our value to Him or in Him. I am His child. Peter reminds me that I am chosen, a part of a royal priesthood and a holy nation. I am special and have the purpose of proclaiming His praise. I have been called out of the darkness of all that has wounded me into His marvelous light.(1 Peter 2:9) I am precious to Him and He, by the power of His indwelling Spirit, has given me gifts and abilities to serve others. I am not alone. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He has brought me into a community that can love me and that I can love. He has given me directions for living and written it down so I can read it and learn more of Him. He is not hidden. He has revealed Himself to me. He has died for me that I might have life abundant. And even when I am persecuted and rejected by others, He will never reject me. He is preparing a place for me so that I can live with Him forever. He is an amazing God who tells me the real value in life is serving others. My real joy comes from denying myself, not loving myself. My value and purpose comes from esteeming others, not self-esteem. When we see just how much we mean to God, how loved we are and the sacrifice He made to bring us to Himself, we can see that we are made in His image and His likeness. What better image could we ever hope for? I am His and He is mine. The real question about my self image comes down to whom I choose to believe. Will it be those around me, myself or God?
We should heed Paul's warning to Timothy, "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God" (2 Tim 3:1-4). Sound familiar? And on top of all that they will have poor self-esteem. I don't think we need a good self image or elevated self-esteem I believe we are desperate for God to be highly esteemed and for my self-image to be found in His image. What are your thoughts?
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