How desperate are you? In our plastic Christian bubbles we like to claim that we have all we need in Messiah, Jesus. Life is not perfect, however, we are doing okay. We pray, read the Word, sing the praise songs, and attend our local church, at least when we can. The are a multitude of responsibilities and directions we are pulled toward. God must understand that sometimes, well, there is not enough time to do all that I would like in the spiritual side of my life. We sing along with Micheal W. Smith declaring that God is the very air we breath and how we are "desperate for You", whenever we can carve out the time. The pace of life is my greatest nemesis. Oh, there are other issues that sap my vitality and temp me to bang my head against a wall, however, not having time for God to be the "air I breath" tops my list. I actually get paid to study, pray and talk to people. So how could this ever be a problem?
In reality, I am my own worst enemy. I accept responsibilities and make commitments that suck up time and energy. I do, occasionally, marvel that God has graciously allowed my aging body to do the stuff I do. The growing wood pile for winter is just one thing this mortal flesh is capable of doing. As well as lawn care, home repairs and working to move sixteen truckloads of mulch that found its way to our church property. No exaggeration, sixteen dump truck loads of mulch. There is also the emotional drain of the coming and going of people I care about. I wobble in and out of the disciplined life I long to enjoy. Its just that stuff keeps getting in the way. Things like people and car trouble, and rain, and the need to prepare to feed the wood stove. And did I mention people? People I care about and enjoy and like to talk to and spend time with and do projects with and watch meaningless movies with and that other stuff we do.
I also spend quality time staring into empty space or reading commentaries three times because there seems to be a disconnect between my optic nerve and the rest of my brain. Ummm, what was I saying, there was this cool looking squirrel outside the window. No, I do not suffer from ADD it was just a really provocative squirrel. I can understand the Apostle Paul's apparent frustration recorded in Acts chapter seven. Not doing what I want, distracted from what I long to do. Sometimes it is sin or temptations or struggles with the haunting past. However, lots of time it is just the brainlessness of life that causes me to get quiet and just want some revelation from the Lord. Not a big lightning bolt, I do not want to get hurt, something more on the line of static electricity so I know He is there and I am still in His care. Do not get me wrong, I am not discouraged or depressed, just feeling pressed more often than I would like. Life is actually pretty good. Just too much of it.
It seems that the society we live in gives little time to be desperate for God and lots of time to live in quiet desperation. Perhaps it is time to cut back on the calendar, the activities,the projects, maybe even a little less stuff of people and allow our spirits to know how desperate we really may be. Every breath actually is a gift from God. He actually is the reason we breath. And we would be lost without Him, if we took the time to notice. I know the issues. Understand the overload. And it is likely I will still understand the problem next week. Desperate for Him or just quiet desperation. Which will you choose?
No comments:
Post a Comment