Morning Joy?

Have you known weeping? Has there been a time in your life that sorrow has felt overwhelming and the darkness impenetrable? As those who believe that God is good and that He delivers us from such times of pain and sorrow we often find comfort in the words of King David, preserved for us in the Psalms.One such psalm, at least one verse or a part of a verse, has found its way into songs, sympathy cards and the folds of our memories. "For His anger, a moment, His favor, life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). David is no stranger to sorrow and weeping. He has know unjust persecution and the death of ones he has loved. He has known God's favor and he will experience God's anger. None of these emotions are foreign to him so he speaks these words from experience. Most of us have been touched by aspects of similar traumas and redemptions. However, we might well question the accuracy of David's poetic claim.

If you have known weeping and sorrow for a night is there a guarantee that relief comes with the dawn? I have sorrows that still rest within the pages of my life. They still manage to rise to the surface at unexpected times. A song, a sunset, a word of Scripture, even a phrase that captures a past moment and resurrects the loss I though had been healed. There are memories shared with a friend where we both change the subject to quench the tear ducts before the liquid sorrow becomes too noticeable. Weeping certainly seems to last more than a night and not every morning feels saturated with joy.

There are a few things to consider as we look to David's words. The psalmist gives us a heads up at the beginning. This psalm was written in celebration of the dedication of David's house, David's dwelling place. After years of being on the run where David's dwelling was more of the rustic variety, living in tents, caves, and within the open wilderness, David now has a home. Actually a palace of sorts. He is the king of a nation of renown. His armies are feared and his prosperity above most nations that are his neighbors. David praises the Lord for His faithfulness and for bringing him up from the pit. David has seen, first hand, the deliverance and salvation of the God of Israel. David knows the morning joy of God's presence.

The Hebrew word translated, "joy", does indeed mean joy, even exuberant joy. It also means to shout or pray. David often uses the word to express his need for God to hear him. Psalm 88:2 is just one among many, "Let my prayer come before You; incline Your ear to my cry"(emphasis mine). Could it be that weeping endures for a night but prayer or a cry to the Lord comes in the morning? Is David promising short lived weeping and immediate outbursts of joy or a change that moves our focus off of the weeping and onto the One who brings comfort when we cry out to Him? Is God telling us that our weeping is momentary or that a prayer or morning cry out to Him will get us through another day?

I am aware that David is likely making use of the Hebraic poetic use of contrast to help us grasp the wonder and goodness of God. Just as God's anger is short lived while His favor lasts a lifetime, so our weeping may overwhelm us for an evening while something replaces that come dawn. English translations choose joy or rejoicing as the contrasting idea. However, a prayer or cry for comfort is not that far removed. Weeping moving into a cry for God's presence fits as well. It also allows for a time of weeping to become a time of prayer and reflection of God's care and watchfulness, which David expresses in the remainder of Psalm 30. In verse 8 David remembers that he cried out and made supplication to the Lord, verse 10 records David's cry for mercy and for the Lord to be his Helper. 

Certainly, God can turn my mourning into dancing and clothe me with gladness, verse 11. However, even for David, this was not an overnight reality.  We do not sorrow as those who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13), however, we do sorrow. We do weep over loss, painful situations and for those who have been taken from us. Isaiah tells us that Messiah would be a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. We live in a fallen world where evil, at times, seems to prevail. Loved ones die and suffer with no immediate relief or apparent reason. Messiah understands. We should not pass lightly over the emotion God has designed within us. Weeping may last for a night, however, I suggest you may feel free, as dawn approaches, to cry out with supplication for God's comfort and grace just to get you through another day. If you are not ready to put on your dancing shoes God is not disappointed. His peace will suffice until His joy returns.

What Now? Going Forwrd.

 How do you feel about the past months? There are few places where the events of CoVid19 has not had an impact and if you are in the USA you can add the joy of a national election. Much of life has been disrupted. The question for all of us, and especially believers, is, "What now?" How do we move forward from where we are to where we need to be. For some it is a time of great distress. It seems the powers of darkness have gained more than a foothold and the future is uncertain in the midst of a growing darkness. Should the USA, indeed, be guided by a new administration things are likely to change. 

For some it is a time of rejoicing with the potential removal of an arrogant and un-presidential tyrant. Then there is the promise of free healthcare, free education, forgiven student loans, a guaranteed income with the government taking care of them. The government only wants what is best for us. We just need to be compliant. 

For others it will be the codification of the "right" to kill babies and to progressively move toward the elimination of those who lack the quality of life that would prove to be a drain on society. They see an expansion of government control that tells us religious practice is "nonessential" and religious conviction is disallowed as "hate speech". The pandemic has been an effective tool to limit worship meetings and penalize people of faith. Numerous governors has become lush with new powers that control the lives of the masses. All in the name of keeping us safe. The proposed plan is to regulate what you drive, where you live, how much energy you can use and how to protect yourself and your family. A false security with the price tag being your freedom and liberty. Either view leaves you wondering what to do from here.

It occurred to me that we, as followers of Messiah Jesus, have been given a plan, a guideline, to follow from the Word of God. That should not be unexpected. However, the truth that most of us have already memorized the directions might come as a surprise. In this, and a followup post or two, I want to give a possible answer that God impressed upon my heart in the quiet of the night while I recovered from some mild food poisoning. Yes, sometimes the LORD has to put me on the recliner looking up to see what He has for me. This is not a vision wrought from indigestion but just some thoughts that rolled over me when the silence outweighed the usual conflagration of my overactive midnight brain. Matthew and Luke give variations of the direction from the Lord. It is a simple answer given by the Lord as a response to a simple "How" question brought by His disciples. We will use Matthew's account but either gives us an answer to give us hope and remind us that. perhaps, nothing has really changed.

Mathew gives us this message in Matthew 6:9-13. I invite you to give voice to these familiar verses with me, "Our Father, Who art in heaven, holy is Your name, Your kingdom come Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one, for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen" (a slightly modified version of the NKJV). These verses can serve both as a reminder and a map to follow as we continue our journey with the God of all creation and His Son, Messiah Jesus, empowered by His Holy Spirit. It helps keep my mind straight and it helps that I learned this through simple repetition as a child never thinking, "Oh, this comes from Matthew 6". Childhood memories to the rescue.

"Our Father, Who art in heaven". Turning our attention to our heavenly Father in times of foggy reality is never a bad place to begin. He is the personal God and Father Who invites us to call Him, Abba. The intimate name from a child to their daddy. He is the Father Who hears and understands. He is the Father that has a heavenly perspective. One Who sees beyond our limited existence and experience. He has worked in the past, through every difficulty we can imagine. He is not unaware of our situation or the thoughts that may bring unrest and discomfort to our thoughts and emotions. He is not bound by politics or elections. He was not absent through four hundred years of slavery or the forty years of wilderness wanderings. He did not forsake David as he cowered in the caves or Daniel as he stood, in faith, among the lions. He was not absent at the cross nor did He abandon the women at the empty tomb. I can trust my Heavenly Father to be with me today. Perhaps, I just need to hear His words to David and "Be still and know He is God" (Psalm 46:10). Like Elijah, I wait for the mighty wind, or earthquake, or roaring fire, and miss the "still small voice" (1 Kings 19). No matter what the day brings I can rest in Him.

"Holy is Your name". The name above all names. The unspoken name among His Hebrew children as they show deference and respect to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He is our loving Father. He is also the awesome God of all creation. He is not to be taken lightly or for granted. He name is separated from every other name. Our God shares this nobility with His Son, "Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth" (Philippians 2:9-10). Ephesians 1:21 offers a similar truth, That His Son Messiah is "far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come." No matter how the enemy works to turn God's name or the name of His Son into a meaningless profanity it does not change the reality of the holiness of His name. In time all of mankind will recognize that truth and bow before Him. We should not allow the turmoil of this present age to overshadow the wonder of His name or the power of His presence.

We have a more to consider from this familiar prayer given to us by the Lord Himself. Those will find their way to Torah Paranoia in the weeks to come. However, perhaps this will give you a few things to reflect upon and ponder. Perhaps it is a prayer you can revive as you enter each day and maybe, just maybe this prayer was given to us for such a time as this.   

"The Sweetest Gift of All"

The Christmas Celebration has come and gone. Relatives are heading home and the tree is a little bare. For many the Christmas celebration is bittersweet. It is a time to celebrate the Savior's birth, however it can be a time of reflecting upon the shadow of the loss of a loved one. A spouse, parent, child, friend, the ones passed on who leave that vacant spot on Christmas day. A good friend shared a music video that speaks to that reality. It was a source of comfort for me. Perhaps it will be for you as well. Consider it a belated Christmas gift from Torah Paranoia.

God's Painful Pearls

Do you ever get frustrated with your brain? It is s remarkable tool God has provided. However, it seems to have a mind of its own, wandering into thought patterns that cause discomfort. I would like to have a disciplined brain. One that reflects the Apostle Paul's claim, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). My brain is more of the "free range" sort of brain, meandering about and finding bits of garbage to feed on. I am grateful for the indwelling Spirit to poke my brain to flee the garbage and get back into the protection of God's hen house I just wish it did not wander to begin with. Time on this planet is limited and wasted with absurd notions, which encourages me to gently tap my head against the nearest wall. Things like, "If I won the $387,000,000 lottery I would ..." knowing this will never happen as I never buy lottery tickets. Yet, there goes my inner being listing the charities, ministries, and people I would be able to bless. The trips to Israel and then follow the Apostle Paul's route through the Middle East, Greece and onto Rome. Books I could purchase, like the Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament, and works of the Ante-Nicene Fathers. Then I snap back to where my mind was suppose to be and I focus on the necessary task at hand.

Perhaps more frustrating are the darker thoughts. Hurts that come back with vivid clarity. Temptations that just do not seem to take a permanent departure but poke out through the recessed folds of my mind. They remind me of that thorn Paul spoke of to the Corinthians, "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure" (2 Corinthians 12:7). I do not experience the exaltation or abundant revelation, but I can relate to the thorn and Satan's buffeting. It would just be so wonderful to be completely free from such needless thoughts and the wasted time dealing with them. They are like covert pieces of sand in the soles of my cerebral cortex; they slip in and distract me with their irritating fragments of things I dealt with long ago. I have studied, taught the Scriptures, acquired a few degrees, meditated and prayed and the old seeds of doubt and failure still sprout from my memories and send me down mental trails of discouragement. I do not live there, but, the unwanted weeds still return to my mind and need to be extricated before they take root.

Going back to Paul's personal illustration of the thorn I have some hope. There was a purpose for the pain. It kept the Apostle dependent upon the Lord. Without it Paul could have succumbed to the pride that would have damaged his ministry. Perhaps I need to view these irritations as that grain of sand lodged in the tender parts of my mind. I coat them with prayer and tears and lean on the Lord for victory. Yet, it seems the irritating grain remains. So I coat it with another layer of prayer, reminded again of just how vulnerable I am. Over time the prayer coatings have smoothed off the rough edges of the memory, even if it has not been removed. As the years go by, the prayer coatings continue as this memory, though faded, lets me know it will not go away. In the process I have become more dependent upon the Lord. More aware of my own weaknesses. The realization of needed prayer and dependence comes more easily. The barbed irritation has become a pearl of great value. No longer tearing at my mind with painful memories, it is a gentle pressure that reminds me that my life is in God's hands. Whatever the pain or failure the Lord can use the sand to make a pearl of dependence in my life. It can help me see the pain of others and offer comfort from the pearl still lodged in my own mind.

My mind still wanders into stupid things. Moments lost with mindless day dreams and a few vain imaginations. Maybe my brain just needs a momentary vacation from the challenging realities of life. However, the truly painful moments, the darkest barbs delivered by Satan are becoming valued pearls. Pearls made of the ongoing salve provided by God's Spirit as I pray and trust in Him.

Perhaps, I am not alone. It may well be that some great pain, or loss, or failure invaded your life. The painful barbs in your mind have become a source nearing despair. Whatever the cause, like the Apostle Paul's thorn, it can become a pearl of dependence and even victory. The Lord can remove the anguish and smooth off the edges of those thoughts and memories. Coated with prayerful tears the Lord can heal and help you see that He can work through even this to enrich your walk with Him. Even more, He can then use you to help others build pearls out of pain. As was true with the Apostle, God's strength can work in our weakness. Our pain and failures can become God's pearl of great price. The difficult question is, "will we let Him?"

Beyond Understanding

I often give my posts a provocative title or one with humor. My desire is that people will read and give thought to my musings and perhaps learn something new. I do not hold hope that this post will be popular or even entice anyone to read, much less to read to the end. It is a personal record of the conflict I am having with how unfair it is to be overshadowed by the God of love and grace.

I have been in ministry for forty plus years. I have seen God heal one going blind, cancer removed, mobility restored, infertility conquered, and marriages healed. I have experienced first hand the power of prayer. I have also known those times when the Lord determines that the prayers of God's people will not yield the desired results. "Thy will be done" is always a necessary part of the petition laid before the God of all grace who knows far more than I will ever perceive. I have come to accept that reality.

Being a Pastor and teacher has become more than His gift or even His calling, it is who I am. The greatest cost is that of friendship. Pastors live under the shadow of expectations. I have connected, cared for, ministered to, discipled and loved a significant number of men and families. Almost as many have come to find that I have failed to meet their expectations in some way or form and have moved on to other assemblies and left me behind. In quiet nights like these I am still haunted by the loss of what I once thought was friendship. However, there are occasions when someone looks past the gift and accepts you for who you are. Another frail and flawed pilgrim on life's journey. They are few and far between. I have four such treasured friends in my life. One I moved away from, two that have moved away to other parts of the USA and one who has been closer than a brother. It is he who holds my attention tonight.

About two weeks ago the Lord allowed him to suffer a stroke. He is six years my junior and was in good health. The stroke was minor and recovery, though time consuming, seemed likely. I prayed for him. I prayed in the car on the way to the hospital, I prayed in the lobby, in the elevator, and at his bedside. He squeezed my hand and thanked me for my concern. I knew God would heal him. He is my dear friend. His wife needs him, as do his children and grand children. Then there are his band members and co-workers and members of the fellowship where he leads worship and encourages Christ's Bride. This episode was just God's new material for those beloved "mini sermons" he shares as he welcomes God's children to come to worship. .

We share on a great many levels. We have prayed for our wives and our children together. We have wept in sorrow and in Joy. He always has my back. He has always defended me and we have faced more trials and joys in leading a flock together than anyone. Did I mention, he is my friend and I need him. I had laid out a flawless case before the Lord, healing was assured.

His incremental improvements served to fuel my confidence in his eventual healing. Until the heart attack and coronary arrest. There have been a few shimmers of hope but the situation is clouded with a growing darkness that seems to be leading to his departure. God is still almighty and the Messiah he calls Lord can still heal the blind, cause the lame to leap and the dead to rise. He can heal my friend. But, what if He chooses not to? I am not happy.

I would like to question God. I want to shake my fist in His face and tell Him how unfair this is. I want to wallow in some crises of faith and doubt everything I have held to be true. I want to cry out in anger and tell Him of this injustice and that I am done being His servant. I am walking away. But, He will not let me go. Everything I know and have known holds me to the Rock that is greater than I. I desire anguish and rage and find  instead, "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guarding my heart and mind through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7). I find myself standing with Job saying, "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him". The quiet confidence and peace that overshadows me robs me of my indignation and gives me unwelcome comfort. And to add to my inability to cast Him aside He replays a song by Casting Crowns over and over again in my head (Here is my opportunity to place it in your head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCpP0mFD9F0 ), "The God Who gives, and takes away."

In the midst of the storm a firm hand grasps mine and gently says. "Come with Me, climb in, join Me in the safety of the boat. Here is a cushion. lay down. Come unto me, for I am gentle of heart, come find rest for your soul."

And my soul is at rest. He will not let me go. It is simply beyond understanding.